joi, 27 ianuarie 2022

Welcome to my pond

Dear friends, I fear that I have gone mad, so I warn you that what I am about to write could have been tainted by the machinations of a f(r)oggy mind. Continue reading at your own risk of contagion.

I don't know exactly when this could have happened, but I think I have become a frog. I am able to recall a time before this current state I am in.. but to my disappointment, I was a simple man, never a prince. This might make it a bit harder to return to my previous human condition, knowing that my reversed metamorphosis would not promise a significantly better situation. 

Of course, I have learned to be especially alert around snakes and birds, I am still developing my croaking skills and catching insects has proven to be harder than I thought. But aside from all that, the pond is really welcoming and I don't pay rent. I especially like the crickets at night.. how often does your food sing for you? 

There's a enormously long list of things that I like, but my absolute favourites are jumping and croaking with my army in the dead of night. The stars aren't so bad either and I can still remember some of the constellations from when I was a little kid. 

I'm pretty old for a frog; while I was checking my reflection in the pond, I noticed that I share the features of maturity common to the group's elders. However, they have not invited me to join them, seeing how clumsy I was at the most trivial frog tasks. If they could speak, they would probably express their perplexity at how I had managed to stay alive for so long. The same day I had joined them, a youngster had to kick me into the water in order to save my life. My skin was dry and I was choking.. I had no idea what was happening to me. To this day, I haven't been able to learn how to communicate verbally with them, but I now understand the basic does and don'ts. 

As a human, I had always called myself a night owl, the other night I was snatched by one. It let me go when I used my human voice and as I was falling from the night sky, twisting and turning through the air, I was concerned that, having heard me, my army would finally banish me from the pond. I landed in the water, next to my Lily pad. I climbed on top of it and started croaking the best I could. 

It might have been my loudest and most confident croaking yet and the others soon joined in with the same level of enthusiasm. 

No, I don't think I'm going back to being a human.. sure, I miss some people, my REM sleep and some comforts here and there, but this life is mostly better. I don't miss my stupid human brain. I now believe that the capacity to understand freedom is directly proportional with the capacity to invent reasons for slavery. 

P.S. many people I know have also been transformed into frogs and some have accepted the invitation to climb into a very very large pot filled with water. 

I sometimes miss a hot bath as well..