sâmbătă, 26 mai 2012

Novus York Rex Ratus

Rex Ratus
della citta Novus Yorkus

  The king of the New York rats was having a nervous breakdown. Over the past few days he was loosing all his chess games, and his whiskers were not curly any more. Out of 15 does which were nightly in his dormitory, only Reba and Elinor were visiting now. It had been a week since the water was not leaking from the pipes and the king declared that "it is the rightful judgement of The Great Punisher, ye non-believers!" Over his land came famine, opinions, then difference of opinions, while the kingdom became dry and barren. There was word that a big plot was forming against the king, who, in spite of the spies sent to the above, refused to believe that the Great Punisher was about to start a chemical war against all the ratkind.
   Moreover, his officers, in charge with the security of the east sewers were suspected of treason and of plotting against the Kingdom. To this last rumour, the king was told to give little credit, since it was spread by Fattisov, notorious for his lies, miracle faking and misleads. He had once declared that he has the ability of night binocular vision for 12 hours in a row, and the other 12 hours he could travel in the past. He was charging 4 grains of wheat for a message sent to a dead relative or friend(who was still living in the past) and an extra 7 grains for the answer. This is how he could be appointed as the kings's advisor, a few days ago, when he paid down the 1.200 grains of wheat required for the position. Fattisov was still a young rat, he lived just one cold season, and being a well fed citizen, in a high position, he could hope for at least another two.
  The king however, being recently overwhelmed by a series of misfortunes, bad news and complaints (the latter, mostly because of the newest gained right to opinions), took Fattisov seriously and started writing a call to arms, in this manner:

" Before reading this, I urge you to gather in groups of 600, include 400 illiteRats in your group, read aloud and instruct illiteRats that when you raise your paw, you should all shout "hurray!!" in one voice, 3 times with half a second pause in between.

My beloved loyal Rats,

We find ourselves in a time of great concern, when our Great Punisher seems to give us the hardest test yet. It is now that I call upon the noble spirits of this kingdom, to sharpen your claws and write a golden destiny for all Ratkind! (raise paw!).
It has come to my attention that the rats of East Side sewer (may the snakes constrict 'round them!) have started a rebellion against our fair kingdom. They are many, but we are more! (raise paw!) Their leader, my formally appointed officer, Zeld, is no longer a son of mine! His betrayal knows no limits, because his honesty was never tested, until our peace was shattered. There is proof that he is responsible for the isolation of the pipes in our kingdom. Our spies saw him taking maps with the locations of the broken pipes to the above. But the devil erased the east side locations!! I have no doubt that this is the reason why only our oasis was destroyed and our environment became so hostile, while the east side is untouched! Our 26 forefathers who bravely descended down here, had a belief, a hope for all Ratkind to thrive and become rulers of the underground! We are the ones who they referred to! (raise paw!)
My message is clear: go forth and destroy everything moving in the East Side, so that my coming will be greeted only by my loyal rats! You shall attack at dawn! (raise paw!) "

When Zeld got word of the recent development of the situation, he was busy with the does which deserted the king, and the disturbing news brutally awakened him. He knew there was little time to make a decision: first options that came to mind were, either flee to Manhattan sewers or gather his army against his father, the king. It wasn't easy...the pipes in his domain were still cracked and resources were plenty, but keeping this fortune wasn't going to prove itself easy. His instinct of self preservation was greater than the ambition of ruling, but suddenly, an idea came to him that promised to satisfy the greed, as well as to grant his safety. He hid himself in a crack of the wall, asked not to be disturbed, and when he came out, his front teeth, were visible up to the gums and his eyes had an evil shine that betrayed self satisfaction and confidence.

"Get me Kassandra and Trixie! Right away!" he shouted!
In a few moments, the does were before Zeld, smiling gently and with their eyes filled with servitude. They used to share the king's dormitory not long ago, but after the isolation of the pipes they betrayed him and fled to the East side to declare their loyalty to Zeld, who was now their resourceful, trusted benefactor.
"Kasandra, you will return to the king!" Zeld said. "And you will spend the night with him.You will tell him that you have finally decided to give him an offspring and that you never went with the others to my bedroom, but went away only to spy on me for him, hiding in the east-side pipes. The king loves you most, so he will believe it. When he will ask you in, you will say that I discovered a magic pill that I brought from above and that you have seen with your own eyes how this pill can make one stronger and younger. You will tell him that all my elder soldiers are now young and powerful and the young ones, became super-rats. Beg him not to go to war with me, lest he will loose it all, but advise him to take his time, postpone his campaign and get these pills himself, or that otherwise he doesn't stand a chance. You will then tell him that you know where we store them and that you will lead him there, during the night, when there are no guards" Kassandra bowed.
Then Zeld went on addressing Trixie :
"Trixie, your mission is to seduce Fattisov. He has never had a doe, so it should be easy. I don't think he knows you, as he has been the royal advisor for just a few days, but you should come back as soon as he's asleep, 'cause the king will get suspicious if he sees both you and Kassandra having returned at the same time. Keep your whiskers down on the ground, pretending to be hungry and looking for food. That way you will blend in with the others.You should sneak in his dormitory after Kassandra will have been invited in. You will also tell Fattisov of the pill, in the exact same manner,maybe exaggerate a bit. Tell him that your brother, from the east-side, broke his vow of silence and gave you this information in a letter. Convince him that your brother can now walk on the ceilings and can lift a full bag of grains without a sweat. So when Fattisov will wake up, he will crawl before the king, humble, pretending that he got incredible news from his valued spies - he will not dare to say he learned this from the concubine he had in his dormitory last night, lest he should ruin his credibility and go against the status of an advisor." To this, Trixie nodded and bowed with a grin

"Katan", Zeld went on, "you are in charge of getting the rat poison pills to the exit hole between the east and west side territories! Hide them under some pebbles in bags of 20 pieces and brand them with a tag which says "Invincible"! Haaahahaha! On the prescription, we will write that only half is enough to multiply the strenght of a warrior by ten. If all works out as planned, out of 100.000 soldiers of the king, at least 40.000, including the king, will take a sufficient dose to ensure our victory!"
Katan asked for no further explaining, then took a few of his subalterns with him, and accompanied by Kassandra and Trixie, they went on to the store to relocate the rat poison pills.

Everything worked out as planned, as it so happened that these pills were unknown to the west side society, merely because their citizens were not allowed to leave the underground (by strict orders of the king) lest they should be drowned, as many others before, following the urge to gnaw on the book of the Great Punisher with the terrible torch and crown on her head.



The end