Fun Killer

It is dark, Stewart is driving slowly, holding the wheel with his left hand while gently pressing his wife's hand on his right knee. The headlights can barely penetrate a few meters through the thick curtain of rain. 

"We'll be there in no time, darling" he says while looking at her and squinting as though he couldn't recognise her. 

"I just think that it's very unlikely that Timmy broke your glasses, Stu.. he's such a good boy"

"Well, he's definitely being spoiled as one.. All I know is that he likes playing with the hammer" he says and starts laughing. 

"Anyway, my sister did offer their guest room, I don't know why you insisted on leaving tonight. We could have bought some contact lenses for you.." 

"You know I can't wear those things.. Besides, your sister was only bluffing. She knew about my job interview at 10 A.M.. I can't risk the morning traffic. After so many years with this bloody company, I could finally get a promotion." 

"I just hope that we won't miss any turns in this storm"

"Don't worry, Clare. I'm driving slowly and I am not completely blind, you know.." 

"Not far from it either, Stu.. what we're doing is a bit reckless ". 

He takes his hand away from hers, places it back on the steering wheel and accelerates.  

"Well, Clare.. I wouldn't have had to drive tonight if it wasn't for you, now would I?" 

The tone of his voice was calm, almost kind. The contrast between his words and his attitude irritated Clare, who also took her hand away from his knee and replied with a raised tone of voice:

"Well, finish your thought, what exactly do you blame me for?" 
Stewart continued in the same manner:

"Oh, nothing much.. just for the fact that you insisted on coming to your sister's midweek wedding- anniversary party, that you refuse to get your driver's licence.. What else? Hmm.. It also pisses me off that you cover for that nephew of yours, whom I definitely saw playing with a hammer just minutes before my glasses apparently fell on the floor and broke."

"Well, it could have been something else.. Maybe they did fall and someone just accidentally stepped on them"

"The curious thing is that the lenses were broken exactly as though they had been hit with a metal tool.. oh, I don't know, maybe a hammer? I would have believed your sister if she had said that, I don't know,  maybe the dog chewed them up... Was she concerned that I would ask her to pay for them?"

They were both silent for the next few minutes and the storm also seemed to quiet down. Behind them, the lightnings were still illuminating the sky every now and then, but the rain had almost stopped and Stewart set the windshield wipers to perform only slow wipes. 

"See, we've almost made it. It wasn't so bad, was it!?" he said and placed his right hand on her knee again. 

She quickly brushed his hand away and looked outside the window. 

Stewart put his hand back on the steering wheel and accelerated, as he always did, when Clare would annoy him. 

He was about to say something, when his wife started shouting "stop, stop, sstooop" 

He pushed the brakes and they started drifting left and right; while he was trying to stabilise the car, she put her hand back on his knee and squeezed it tight. 

When they finally came to a stop, he could only see the blurry shape of man who, thanks to Stewart's quick reaction, remained at a fairly safe distance. 

He was still waving both of his hands, as though they hadn't already stopped. 

Stewart was about to get out of the car, when Clare caught his arm and held him back.

"Oh my God, Stu, please be careful. Who knows who this is.." 

"Yeah, you're right. I'll just drive towards him and roll down the window to ask if he's ok." 

"Stu, I'm scared, can we please just drive pass him? He'll be fine, why doesn't he call someone? Like roadside assistance maybe?" 
"I'll just ask, don't worry"
Stewart drove slowly towards the man and when he got next to him, rolled down only the top part of his window. They both said "Hi" at almost the same time, but it was Stewart who asked first:

"Are you ok there, friend? What happened?" 

The stranger looked through the 2 inch gap that Stewart allowed between them and said:

"I'm stuck, my car just quit on me and my phone's also dead.. would you mind giving me a ride into town? "
Clare squeezed Stewart's knee and he immediately understood that she was very uncomfortable with the idea. He said to the stranger:  

"Just a minute, friend" and then rolled up the window.

As soon as he did, Clare said hurriedly, in a whispered voice:

"Don't even think about it, Stu. It's almost midnight. Call someone, but don't let him get in, please!"

Stewart rolled the window down a little lower this time and said:

"Look, friend, I am very sorry, but we can't give you a ride into town. I could call Roadside assistance for you.. is that ok?"

"Ok, I understand.. Could you please do it, as I said, my phone is dead"  

"Sure thing, friend. It's just that we need to get going, I will call them on the way for you, ok." 

Saying that, Stewart quickly rolled the window back up and started driving away. 

The stranger started running behind the car, shouting something at them, but Stewart accelerated and he only slowed down when the man was no longer in sight.

Clare took his hand and kissed it; she thanked him for "making the right decision under those circumstances"

A minute later, when he reached for his phone, Stewart realised that he hadn't taken enough details to properly inform the Roadside assistance of the stranded man. 

He explained to Clare that he had never called them before, so because of all the pressure he felt coming from her, he hadn't thought everything through.

Visibly annoyed, Clare responded:

"Ah, well, I'm sure someone else will stop and help him. Maybe someone more confident or.. I don't know, less vulnerable. Someone who can think on their feet."

Stewart accelerated again and didn't speak a word until they got home, where he took a quick shower and went to bed trying to ignore all that had bothered him during the day. His focus had to be on the next day's interview; nothing else!

He did not snooze the alarm, he got out of bed at 8:15, put on his best suit, his spare glasses, gave himself the best smile in the mirror and left the house at 9:20, hoping to make it to the office at least 20 minutes before his interview.

The traffic was a lot better than expected for a Thursday morning, so in the time that was left, he decided to get a coffee from the machine and smoke a cigarette in order to calm his nerves. They were bringing the new regional manager to participate in the selection process. Stewart didn't know much about him, except that he used to be an HR director and was known to have a very strict criteria of selection when it came to selecting the right person for the job. This made Stewart slightly more anxious about him being there than he would have liked to be..  

When Stewart entered the interview room, he was pleased to receive a very warm welcome from all three interviewers; he already knew the branch manager and the sales manager. As he was being introduced to the regional manager, the firm handshake and the friendly greeting was enough for him to relax and bring out the best version of himself. 

Sure enough, Stewart's expertise when being asked the most difficult technical questions had given him a clear advantage and after he had left the room, all three interviewers were of the opinion that he should get the job. He was informed that the job was his and after he thanked them all, he went straight to the coffee room, where a few colleagues congratulated him as well. 

As the regional manager walked in, Stewart was on the phone his wife, sharing the good news and he overheard him proposing that they should celebrate at their cabin. When he noticed the regional manager standing next to him, he told his wife that he had to go. 

"You've made quite an impression today, congratulations again!". He shook Stewart's hand and gave him a pat on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Mr Lewis, I'm really grateful for the opportunity"

"Oh, please call me Phil. I'd like us to have a very close cooperation. You see, I'm trying to expand our client network in the area and I'm sure that I could use someone with your experience." 

"Sure, I'd be happy to help, Phil"  

That week-end at their cabin, while Stewart was opening a bottle of champagne, Clare was busy looking for a specific CD on which she had saved her favourite playlist. 

The promotion had come with a substantial salary increase and Stewart was being very generous towards her, so she thought of rewarding him, trying to rekindle the passion that they once had. 

When Stewart walked into the bedroom with the champagne glasses, Clare was waiting for him on the bed, leaning on her elbow, wearing nothing but her underwear. 

She was also wearing his favourite perfume , there was music and candle lights and she was calling on him to come closer. 

Stewart put the glasses on the table and started walking towards her while doing some dance moves that she was very amused by.

 

Just then, the dog started barking outside and he wanted to ignore it, but the barks and the growls were getting louder and louder until a prolonged whine put an end to all the noise. 

Stewart was experiencing a simultaneous feeling of relief and alarm and he shushed Clare who looked terrified. 

He went to get his rifle which was hanging by the door and as soon as he did, there was a very loud knocking on the door which was followed by a familiar voice saying "Stewart, are you there"? 

Stewart took a couple of steps back pointing the gun at the door and asked: "Who is it? What do you want?" 

It's me, Phil" came the voice from outside.

Incredulous, Stewart looked at Clare and signalled that she should get under the blanket, which she did while asking him not to open with a very loud whispered voice. Stewart waved his hand dismissively as she hid under the blanket. 

When he opened the door, the regional manager, Phil Lewis was standing in front of him, looking very drunk.

"Stewart, dude. I'm endlessly sorry, but I saw the lights on and I thought I would impose on your hospitality.. I went to a stupid party in the area and I had too much to drink.. I can't drive all the way to town, if I get pulled over.. I'm so sorry"

Stewart, visibly annoyed, put the gun standing next to the door and said:

"Not the best time, Phil.. Did you hit the dog? Why was he whining?"

"Oh, no I just gave him some treats"
When Clare heard that, she knew that it had been a lie, as the dog would never take food from an intruder. She showed her head from under the blanket with the intention of exposing the lie but when she did, all she could say was : "Oh, my God!!!!" 

Before she could say anything else, Phil hit Stewart with his hammer over the head; he collapsed immediately and his blood started spilling onto the white, fluffy carpet. He then started walking towards Clare, who had crawled at the head of the bed, covering herself with a pillow. 

"Clare, Clare, Clare, what an unlucky turn of events, isn't it?" 

"It was you.. that night on the road. It was you!" 

"How the fuck did HE not recognize me?" Phil said, pointing at Stewart who was laying motionless on the floor. It almost made me laugh when he was boasting about his attention to detail.. or his risk assessment... " 

Clare started screaming louder and louder until her voice wouldn't help her anymore.

"Are you done?" Phil said, with a calm voice. "You see, this would have happened one way or another. Either in your car or here.. It was meant to be"

When he raised the hammer to hit Clare, a gun blast shocked Phil. He looked at his reddening chest and his hand remained suspended in the air. 

The hammer dropped and a couple of seconds later, Phil collapsed to the floor next to it. 

With his face all bloodied, Stewart walked over to the regional manager and shot him again. He then kicked the hammer as hard as he could, exclaiming: 

"I really hate these things!!!"